Grateful

There are lots of things in this world to complain about. Trust me, I know. But today, I am grateful.

I got a few new pairs of compression tights a few weeks back and let me tell ya, it was awesome.

I have needed some new ones for a while now and had a few bumps in the road getting them, but 

they’re here, and I am ecstatic. All my old tights have been stretched and worn out and even have a few holes. The new ones are sooooo tight!

Look at the difference between the old tights and the new ones.

I put the new ones on and my whole head started to tingle. It feels amazing to have blood in your brain! My mom and Taylor can tell ya, my texts on the day I wore my new tights were a little silly because I was so excited. I was so happy and I felt so good. Almost too good. I kind of had a little bit of a headache by the end of the day. I felt tingley all day long.

I am so grateful to have new tights.

I am so grateful to have a little more blood in my brain and in my heart and a little less in my feet.

I am so grateful that someone invented compression gear.

I am so grateful that durable medical equipment is complex enough, yet simple enough to be clothing.

I am so grateful to have insurance that will pay for expensive compression gear.

I am grateful for medication.

I am so grateful that I found a doctor that wrote me prescription for clothing.

I am grateful for all the other prescriptions he wrote for me too.

I am grateful to have found a medical office where none of the staff treat me like a druggie or an attention seeker. Where they don’t call me “the picture of health” and ignore my pain just because my vitals look normal when I'm sitting down.

I am grateful for people who take my vitals when I'm standing up. 

I am grateful for the diagnosis that I was once terrified of. Diagnosis means treatment.

I am grateful that I am much healthier than I was last October.

There are so many things that are still so hard. There are still awful days where I feel like I am fighting with my own body. There are lots of “body positive” and “self-help” and “self-love” posts out on the internet about how your body does nothing but love you and take care of you, so you should love it back. I do love my body. But it isn’t always easy to love your body when your body is broken. My disease will probably never go away. My nervous system will never function normally.

But I am grateful that it functions better now than it used to.

I am grateful that I have learned a little bit about how to help my body help itself.

I am grateful that I didn’t stop looking for answers.

I am grateful for my bed, but I am even more grateful that I don’t feel confined to it anymore.

I am grateful that my good days now outnumber my bad days by a lot. I couldn’t say that last year. 

On China and POTS and struggles

This is gonna be rambley. Sorry. This post was originally named "How POTS got me to China the first time and almost made me leave early the second time." but that title sucks. The current title also sucks but whatevs. I don't know why I'm including the parts about Costco and Beijing. That's a completely different story than the story that is the point. I've always been the person that has to write a bit of word puke before I get my thoughts organized about the part that actually matters. I definitely did that with this post. Academically, including Costco and Beijing is lowering the power of my argument and story. This isn't academic. This isn't going viral. Very few people will read this. So I leave that part for me. Because I didn't remember it until recently and I don't want to forget it again. I'm terrible at journaling and I'm terrible at blogging. But for once I wrote a memory. So here it stays.

October 2016, I had just turned 18 and I was miserably sick with no relief in sight.

I had asked my mom months earlier if we could go skydiving for my 18^th birthday. She said she’d think about it. Later, when I was missing school every other minute, she half-jokingly said that I would hurry up and get healthy before my birthday, then we would go skydiving. I didn’t get better and I didn’t even really have the energy or the want to go anymore. So, we skipped the skydiving and my mom kept asking me what I wanted for my birthday instead. I didn’t have any ideas.

A few weeks later, we were in Costco and I asked my mom for a huge box of Reese’s cups for my birthday. She asked me how we got from skydiving to candy. I told her that I didn’t really want chocolate, I wanted to be healthy, I wanted to skydive, I wanted to travel the world and.. and.. and.. (I was grasping at straws trying to come up with something that sounded exciting off the top of my head) Heely on the great wall of China! But my body was broken and I wasn’t going to get any of those things, so I wanted some chocolate and I wanted some Omeprazole. She bought me the chocolate.

I don’t really remember that conversation. I very vaguely remember saying something about China at some point during that part of my life, I remember asking for chocolate and sweet talking her into buying it, but I didn’t remember them happening together. My mom brought this conversation up the other day as the moment she started thinking and planning for our trip to Beijing. She started googling air fare that night and later found a KILLER deal.  I had no idea.

We went to Beijing together and I did Heely on the great wall and it was incredible. I freaked out. It felt like a dream. I couldn’t believe the thing I had joked about was actually happening. Weirdly enough, being sick is part of what got me there.

Long story short, I went back to China as an exchange student a few months later (Click here for the long story.) If you follow me on Instagram you probably saw my pictures and saw the “picture perfect” story front that I put up.

The part of the story that you might’ve caught a small glimpse of if you happened to see my mom’s Facebook post, is that I got sick almost as soon as I got there, and I wanted to come home.

I was a lot healthier in July than I was in October. I had been diagnosed about 6 months earlier and knowing the name of and how to treat my disease had completely turned my life around. I went on Trek and I went to Girl’s camp and I was feeling like a normal person. It was wonderful.

 In a lot of ways, I didn’t want to go to Shanghai because it felt like I would go to China and come home and go straight to college and I didn’t want to go to college because I didn’t want to leave my family. So I didn’t want to go to China, I wanted to stay home and be with my family before I had to leave for college.

But oh wait I actually totally did want to go to China. I was so excited to go and do amazing things and meet amazing people. Really, the timing and my anxiety about college were the issues. (PLOT TWIST: my anxiety is caused by POTS.

I got to Shanghai, and I was hit by jetlag. Hard. I have traveled a lot, but I’ve never had very much jetlag. I had jetlag and I couldn’t sleep hardly at all. To make it worse, the bed I was sleeping on was awful. It hurt to lay down. No sleep was making me emotional. Being emotional was putting my already higher than a normal person adrenaline levels through the roof. The adrenaline made it even harder to sleep, sent my stomach into a painful mess and made me soooooooooooo anxious. I contemplated coming home 20392 times in that first week. I loved my host family and I wanted to be in China, but I wanted to sleep and I desperately wanted my mom. I felt so alone in a city of 24 million people and I didn’t know how to explain to my host family that I had a disease that was making me ridiculously sick, even though I looked absolutely fine.

I hated the way I felt. I was scared. I was tired. I was panicking about the future. I was supposed to go to college and then leave on a mission. There is absolutely no way that I could ever serve a mission in the state that I was in when I got to Shanghai. That hurt. I have wanted to serve a mission for yeeeaaarrrrssss.  

I worked out the bed situation. I was scared to ask my host family because I didn’t want to offend them, but they let me take the funky topper off of the bed and just sleep on the mattress and ohh my goodness. It felt so good to sleep on a normal bed. My mom called my doctor for me to talk POTS and he told me to double up on some of my medications. Doing those things made a HUGE difference.

The anxiety lingered. It got better when I started doubling my medications and especially better after I got over the jet lag. But it lingered. I’d like to say it was all better after those first few days, it wasn’t. It was 30498203948x better, but I wasn’t all better. I continued to have some panicky moments throughout the whole stay. I was fine when I was out and about with my host family, but there were a lot of nights that I broke down when I talked on the phone with my mom.

I would like to say I would do it again in a heartbeat. And in a lot of ways I would. I loved my host family and I can’t wait for the day I get to see them again, and I saw so many incredible things. I really learned a lot about myself and I got so much closer to my Heavenly Father. The struggles were part of what made it worth it. But it was hard.

The anxiety lingered even after I got home. I had just seen my doctor right before I left for China and I wasn’t due to see him again for months. But I needed something to be different. I told my mom there was no way I could go to college with my anxiety the way it was. So, I saw the doctor again and he and I decided together, to up my adrenaline medication. It was definitely the right decision. That wasn’t smooth off the bat either. I really struggled to move to college. I knew Weber was and is the right place for me to be right now, but I had so many awful feelings. It took some time. But I really am happy to be here. I really am doing well.

Struggling in China was a blessing in so many ways. I got my medication fixed before I left for college and I learned a few things about my health and how to take care of myself when things get out of whack. If I had been arriving at the MTC and having those issues, I would’ve HAD to come home. The 3 weeks I was in Shanghai felt like an eternityyyy. The thought of staying those 3 weeks felt too hard. Too scary. I didn’t want to not sleep for 3 weeks. Now swapping 3 weeks for 18 months and I wouldn’t’ve even tried to stay. But I made the 3 weeks and I will be much better prepared for a mission because of it. I have learned the tricks to help my body adjust to travel. I have learned the tricks to help snap my health back into MY control when it starts spiraling out of control.

The church recently updated the missionary questions, specifically in regard to mental health. And for good reason. No one should have to feel like that ever, but especially not far away from everything you’ve ever known. I wouldn’t wish those awful feelings on anyone, but especially not on a missionary. Take the time to get better before you go. I promise it will be worth it. 

 If you are struggling, physically, emotionally, mentally, go find help. It might take some time to figure out the right treatment. But don’t stop trying. You don’t deserve to feel that pain and that fear. You can still be yourself, be a student, be a missionary, be a parent, be successful, be whatever you want to be even if you have trials, even if you have an illness. I promise you that you will be a better student, a better missionary, parent, employee, friend if you love yourself enough to get the help you need and deserve. 

And... World Peace.

This last June I was a contestant in the Miss Tooele City Pageant.

Weird. I know.

I have honestly wanted to enter the pageant for a few years now, but my family was always traveling during one part or another. The crown comes with a lot of service opportunities, specifically for veterans and I am all about that. This year was finally the year. I entered the pageant.

When I was little I was the little girl that was in every talent show, and sang at every function I could. I did Missoula Children's Theater every year and I loved every minute of it. If you've met my sister Kenzi, you know that she wants to be the center of attention every minute of every day and when I was that age I was the exact same way. Honestly, part of me still is that way. I love school choir, I enjoy giving talks in church, (don’t tell) I almost auditioned for several high school plays, I enjoy entertaining. But that doesn’t mean I like the focus on me. I like to talk, but not necessarily about myself. I am more than happy to be the supporting character. I had several friends and even a few teachers tell me I should do Student Government in Highschool, but I didn’t. I chose Hope Squad instead. I was the President of the Hope Squad. I’m not one to shy away from leadership, but I chose the less visible club with the clearer focus. Nothing against Student Government, I did that in Elementary School and ran in Jr. High, those kids do so much for the schools. It just wasn’t my scene. Part of it was because I wasn’t “popular” and I didn’t really want to be. I wanted to serve. Something I realized in the middle of the pageant was that a lot of the kids I went to school with didn’t know me when I was little. They never got to see the little girl that was always singing, always acting. To the people I went to high school with, I was outgoing, I was in the choir, but I wasn’t well known and certainly not for the kinds of things you would do in a pageant. It was shocking to some people that I was comfortable enough to enter and that I planned to sing by myself. People saw me as the girl that had an unhealthy love for APUSH and posted way too much on Instagram. I wasn’t “pageant material.” (Every girl can be a pageant girl. Enter a pageant. Boom. Pageant girl.) It was weird to realize that people saw me very differently than I see myself.

That being said, the closer it got and the more work I put in to the pageant, the further out of my comfort zone I was. But not for the reasons people would think. I wasn’t nervous for an interview, I wasn’t nervous to present on stage, that was honestly my favorite part. Singing in front of the crowd didn’t scare me and neither did learning a production number. It was the stuff nobody notices that made me squirm. I ordered my dresses online, and for the most part I had pretty good luck, but there were a few things to fix on my talent dress and the slip for my white dress had to be completely re-done. That was so hard for me. To let my mom and especially my grandma put in the work to perfect my dresses was so hard. I am so normally easy going with my clothes. I wore multiple formal dresses to high school dances that I bought at DI. Having to buy expensive dresses was so hard, and then to have to fix those dresses was so much work that other people had to do for me and I felt so bad asking them to do it.

The Miss Tooele pageant has contestant workshops where they teach you how to walk and how to pose. They did not like my walking and it made me upset. Walking is not hard. Walking in heels is not hard. Having people tell me I couldn’t walk right was hard. Kaye and Hillary had to teach me how to walk. I didn’t want to focus so much time on learning something so trivial. But the Pratts made it fun, in the end I was glad I put in the effort, even if I didn’t want to.

I had to buy the right shoes and jewelry to go with each outfit and then I had to return the shoes and buy different shoes and it all felt pointless. I was after the crown for service opportunities. I didn’t want to care about my stupid shoes. But I did. And it was worth it. I looked my best and I felt my best and I was glad I took the time to have shoes that not only looked good but felt good. Cassidy’s feet were killing her all night.

My hair has natural highlights. I didn’t want to spend the time, energy and money to have my hair highlighted. I fought it because it felt like a waste. But I got my hair done, and it looked good. I got my eyelashes done (one of the few things I was excited to do) and it looked soooo goooood. It was fun to focus on me a little bit, even though I resisted at first.

Every time I turned around someone was telling me something else I needed to do for the pageant. That was hard. I felt like everyone who was helping me was making decisions for me. In the end, they were right and I was glad I listened to all their tips and tricks because it enabled me to feel so much more confident on stage. I felt like I was not only capable, but I looked capable. Like when they tell you to dress nice for a job interview, it really does make the difference.

But I drew the line when they said spray tan.

I am white enough that people make jokes about Spaniards (people from Spain, who are the whitest people I have ever seen) being almost as white as Boston. The idea of getting a spray tan made me sick and the idea that it could turn out any color except carrot puree or Lindsey Lohan was a joke to me. I did not want to get a spray tan.

          So many people tried to convince me, but I was not having it. My mom made the appointment and I told her to cancel it.

          And then my white dress came in the mail and I put it on.

          And I didn’t want to get a spray tan but I also didn’t want to wear that dress because my skin was the exact same color. I was scared to death and I made my mom come with me because I was so against it and so scared.

          But I got the spray tan.

          And I felt amazing. I looked so good. I am a very causal person and 85% of the time I don’t even wear makeup. Putting so much work into my appearance felt so useless to me. But I looked so good at the pageant and I felt on top of the world.

          My mom joked as we were driving home from the spray tan appointment the night before the pageant “You didn’t want to do that but now you look so good and you love it so much you’re gonna start being high maintenance and want to get spray tans all the time and get your eyelashes done every month.” In some ways, she was right. I would love to have my eyelashes done all the time and have to put even less work into makeup. The spray tan was subtle enough that most people wouldn’t even notice it, but it made me look so good, I would do it again. I can’t afford to do it all the time. But I would do it if I did another pageant or for special events. I liked how I looked. But I also like how I look without makeup and crazy makeup. The pageant taught me that it’s okay to like both.

          The pageant came. The work paid off. That night was so much fun. I enjoyed the pageant so much and I was so happy. I felt like I could do anything.

 As you have probably realized by now, I didn’t place at the pageant. But that night, I was so proud of myself. I learned all the trivial things I didn’t want to. I dressed up in all the ways I didn’t want to and I performed. I felt so confident in every part of that competition that night. I thought I was going to leave with a crown. But I didn’t. And that was okay. I gained a lot from the experience. Other people got the chance to see me perform, something I haven’t really done in a while. It was kind of fun to be in the spotlight, even though I usually kind of resist it. I got to play princess and care a little more about clothes and hair and makeup than I usually do. It was fun, even though I usually kind of resist it. 

A lot of people told me that I did so well at Miss Tooele City and that I should’ve competed in Miss Tooele County. I thought about it, but it really was never about the crown for me. I wanted the community opportunities and the service projects. The pageant was fun though, I considered entering the county pageant just for fun, but it was also stressful. I didn’t want to jump right back into the stress again. It was a good experience. I would recommend doing it at least once.

I had an amazing support system full of amazing people that helped me with the competition. My family, especially my mom and grandma, Heather and Brianna Lyman, Jenn Hinton who was kind enough to be my honoree that night, and the amazing Pratt family. Thank you. All of you. You helped me so much. Honestly, I think my favorite part of the pageant was the friendships that I made. I gained some amazing friends in the other contestants and got to be around amazing girls I hadn’t seen in a while. I think my favorite though was the “behind the scenes” relationships. I got to watch Miss America clips with the Lymans and interview Jenn. I was at the Pratt’s house till 2 am with my mom one night. What started as pageant prep turned into talking and laughing for hours. Putting myself out there enabled me to make incredible friendships. In the end, even though I lost, I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I gained so much, even without the crown.

aaaand...World Peace.

MBTI yadayada blah

Boston Anderson

Lonnie Jujan

UNIV 1105

            My Myers Briggs Type Indicator Test results were ESFP. Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling and Perceiving. I’m not sure I completely agree or disagree with these results, mostly because I hate the idea of putting myself into 4 little boxes.

            Extraversion: I am an extrovert. I’ve always known that. Being around people gives me energy and joy. But, I hate small talk. Coming to college has been hard for me because every conversation is the same. “What’s your name? Where do you live? What are you studying?” I would rather not talk at all than have the same stupid conversation with hundreds of strangers I don’t care about. Real conversations, with real friends, that’s what I love. I love to hear and tell stories and I love to interact with people, when people are being themselves. Fake smiles and constant talking are off-putting for me.

            I hate being alone. But in many ways, I am used to it. My senior year of high school, just last year, I was very sick and spent a lot of time at home alone. I’m used to entertaining myself. I would rather be alone than be with strangers, but I would rather be with friends than be alone.

            Sensing: This is my closest to the middle category, and I knew it would be, I am only 1 point into the sensing category, but I thought I would be close to the line on the intuition side. I feel like I am pretty intuitive. I notice patterns, I usually focus on the “big picture.” Sometimes I have to remind myself to enjoy the present rather than constantly looking to the future. I thought I would be an intuitive. So where does my “sensing” side come from? I am a tactile learner. I’m a sucker for textures and l love to touch things. When I walk through stores, especially clothing stores, I have a difficult time not touching everything. Much as I have a focus on the future, I am a here and now problem solver. I don’t wait to get things done. I want to get difficult tasks out of the way so I can enjoy myself more now.

            Being close to the line doesn’t bother me. Like I said earlier, I hate the idea of putting myself in a box. The closer to the line you are, the more skills from both categories you can comfortably use and the more you can relate to other people.

            Feeling: This one was my toss-up. I knew beforehand that I was an extrovert and a perceiver and I knew I would be close to the line on sensing and intuition. But feeling and thinking, I had no idea. So, for a little while I thought maybe this one would be close to the middle line as well. Then I realized, the way I act is close to the line. I am a feeler. I would love to make every decision with my heart. But I am also a critical thinker. I realized that when I make decisions, I think through the options critically at first, then I make a decision, and then I wait to see how that decision feels. In the end, I make decisions based on feeling, even if it isn’t the choice that makes the most logical sense. But I try to align the two.

When it was time for me to pick a college, I had a lot of mixed up feelings. I wanted to go everywhere and nowhere. So, I used my heart to weed out the schools I definitely did not want to go to. Then I went through the pros and cons of the remaining schools, with a big emphasis on money. Weber was not the winner of the critical thinking contest. Logically, it made more sense for me to go to another school. But it didn’t feel right.  Weber was in second place on the pro/con list, and it felt right. So even though it made more sense to go elsewhere, I worked hard to find scholarships to make it so it made sense to go to Weber. In the end, I found so many scholarships that Weber moved up to the top of the list.

Perceiving: I knew this one. I am spontaneous and flexible. I think some of that comes from my parents being that way. Back in July, there was a day where my family sat down and figured out everyone’s schedules for the rest of the summer. We realized that if we wanted any kind of family vacation, we needed to leave the next day. So, we did. It was so much fun!

I try really hard to take a planned approach to things like school and work. I’m a procrastinator and a night owl who is trying to go to college and change some of her habits. I want to stress less, so I am trying to plan more. Much as I love spontaneity, I understand the need for dependability. I am a perceiver who is trying to act a little more like a judger. 

I am trying to talk a little less and listen a little more. I am trying to think through decisions with my mind and my heart to make sure I find the best choices that will make me the happiest. I’m trying to make flexible plans. Not everything can be spur of the moment, but life isn’t fun when everything is planned out for you. Most of all I am trying to enjoy the ups and downs as they come. I am trying to handle life the best I possibly can.

Much as I hate the idea of putting myself in a box, this test has helped me to see some of my strengths and weaknesses. It has also helped me to see that each type has their own strengths. I think it’s really important for all of us to understand that people who are different than us are not wrong or bad or scary. We are all just people trying to get through life the best we possibly can. Everyone I have ever met knows something I don’t and I know something they don’t. We all have something to learn from each other. We all have different ways of dealing with life and with our challenges. Companies with greater diversity have greater success. We all think differently and have different things to offer. This makes us better and stronger. Embracing others and their ideas and strengths make us better, smarter, happier people.

A few (of many) thoughts from Shanghai

My 3 weeks in China were somehow everything I expected, and nothing like I expected at the same time. It was amazing, more than I ever could’ve imagined- but harder than I ever could’ve imagined too. I’ve traveled a lot, but I’ve never had much jet-lag, not even when my family visited Japan. I had also never been to another country alone. I was surprised to find myself homesick an exhausted. Somewhat due to exhaustion, the first few days I felt a little sick as well. It was hard to be so far from my family and feel sick. But it too passed. My internal clock adjusted. As I warmed up to my host family, I became less homesick and less anxious. It was such an amazing experience and I’m so very grateful for the chance I had to go, even though it wasn’t always perfect. It gave me opportunities to stretch and grow and change.

                Something I was nervous about before I left was food. I’m pretty willing to try new foods, but also, food can make or break an experience. There were definitely foods that I tried that I absolutely hated. But overall, I was blessed to be in a home with two cute grandmas that made delicious food. Authentic Chinese food is very different than any food in the U.S. and almost every meal I was intimidated and nervous about the weird looking food. But at almost every meal I was pleasantly surprised at how good the food was. As I leave for college and start cooking for myself I will definitely be trying to imitate some of those Chinese meals!

                I was beyond blessed with the most amazing host family. The Chinese are big on English names, mostly because Americans suck at saying Chinese names. My host parents were Harry and Echo. My host sister was 16-year-old Rachel and my host brother was 10-year-old Kevin. Both grandmothers were home for the summer as well.  They were the sweetest. Echo and Rachel both had fabulous English that I was so so grateful for.

One of my very favorite things was sitting and talking with my host mother. She had the greatest stories. She and I talked to no end about the differences in culture between our two countries, about love and life, college and family. She talked to me in English about things I never would’ve guessed we could have. I didn’t expect anyone’s English to be good enough to tell me about their fears of sky-diving and their problems worries about their children. She was by far the person that put me the most at ease and made me feel important and cared for. I love her.

 My host father Harry, desperately wanted to talk to me but had to have his wife or daughter translate for us every time. But he told me stories too. Just because he didn’t speak my language didn’t mean he didn’t care. He told me about his job and asked about my family back home. He told me ancient Chinese stories and teased me about boys. He asked me if he could be my Chinese dad. I am so grateful for the relationships I made.

Kevin became the translators for his grandmothers when his parents weren’t around. He didn’t understand anything I said to him but he tried his best to fill me in on when it was time to eat or go somewhere. He taught me Chinese words and held my hand while we walked around the busy city. He had a fit every I beat him at Chinese Checkers, and cackled every time he beat me at Chinese Chess, just like a good little brother would.

Rachel, poor girl had to be my tour guide. Rachel is for sure a homebody and would’ve preferred not to go out as much as we did. But she was good to me and showed me the sights and introduced me to her friends. We bonded over Taylor Swift music and the movie La La Land. She loves practicing English and recently started taking Spanish classes as well. There are few things more adorable in this world that Spanish with a Chinese accent. Rachel is super interested in Psychology and wants to go to college in the U.S. She is my Chinese sister and I am so grateful I had her.

The grandmothers spoke no English but they worked hard to make me feel welcome anyway. They cooked delicious food and were always concerned that I had enough to eat. Every night the grandmothers went for a walk to “help them stay fit.” They invited me along every night. Sometimes other members of the family would come as well and I would talk and talk with echo and Kevin would teach me Chinese words. Other nights it was just me and the grandmas. They made a point of showing me they cared, even thought they had 0 English skills. Those nightly walks were one of my favorite parts of my trip to China because it was a chance to see the city and the people.

Some of the amazing things I saw in China were the Shanghai Museum, The People’s Square, The Bund, Jinjiang Park, Minhang Sports Park, sooooo many malls and so much more. I learned to make Dumplings, I ate Dog Neck and went to a hot pot restaurant, I sang bad karaoke with people I had just met and I got to experience the 2 hottest days on Record in Shanghai since the 1800’s. I stretched and grew as a person and I learned a lot about myself and who I want to become. I made lasting friendships with people I am absolutely certain I will see again. I learned so much about a culture that is so vastly different than my own, but so similar as well. I was stared at everywhere I went because I’m very white with blonde hair. I had people come up and ask to take pictures with me.

One experience that I wasn’t expecting to be quite as meaningful as it turned out to be was standing on The Bund. In my bedroom at home I have silhouettes of skylines from all over the world, places I dream of traveling to on my walls. The Bund Riverside Walk is the perfect place to take pictures of the Shanghai skyline with all the “Shanghaiish” things. I was standing there with Rachel looking at that beautiful skyline in real life. The image I had been staring at for years on my bedroom wall was no longer a silhouette, it was real. The Pearl Tower and The World Financial Center and all the other skyscrapers were right in front of me and so beautiful. I was there. I stood there for a minute thinking about how big the world is and how small I am and how I couldn’t believe that it was all real. Then a lady walked up to me and asked me in broken English to take a picture with her little boy.

I sometimes still can’t believe it was all real.

To see more pictures of Shanghai Shenanigans you can check out my instagram @boston_sassachusetts and #BostonsChinanigans